How do I stop people pleasing in relationships?
How do I stop people pleasing in relationships?
When you people please, you abandon yourself to appease someone else. So, in order to stop people pleasing, you have to stop sacrificing your own needs at the expense of others.
How to stop people pleasing:
Notice when you are abandoning your own needs to care for someone else’s
Give yourself time to think about your response instead of immediately going along with what was said. You can say “let me think about it”, or “ I’ll check my schedule and let you know”.
Practice being assertive. Assertive is not aggressive. It is speaking your need clearly. Limit saying “whatever you want” and “you decide” and say something like “I’d like ___” or “No, that doesn’t work” or “I don’t like ___”.
Let the the other person have their own emotional response without trying to change it and without letting it affect your need or boundary.
Learn how to be ok taking up space and having needs
Set clear limits for yourself about what you will/will not: do, change, accept
Start focusing on yourself more and making yourself happy.
