What is the difference between codependency and people pleasing?

What is the difference between codependency and people pleasing?

Codependency is a relationship pattern where your sense of self is very closely tied to another person and their approval and is often seen as a caretaking role.

People pleasing is the behavior of putting others before yourself and needing others to approve or be happy with you.

Examples of people pleasing:

• Saying yes when you want to say no

• Going along with things out of fear or anxiety of the other person’s response

• Agreeing with things to avoid conflict or disagreements

• Worry about being liked or disliked - seek approval of others

• Feel guilty setting boundaries or putting your needs first

Examples of codependency:

• Staying in an unhealthy relationship

• Feeling responsible for fixing, helping, or caring for another person

• Have difficulty distinguishing their needs from the other person's.

• Focus on other people and what they are doing or aren’t doing.

• Need to be needed

• Difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries

People in a codependent relationship may struggle with people pleasing tendencies, however people pleasing does not mean you are codependent. There are many other reasons why someone may seek approval. The next article looks at why you might put others needs before your own.