Why do I always put everyone else's needs before my own?

Why do I always put everyone else’s needs before my own?

There may be many reasons why you put others needs before your own. You may have learned to be helpful at a young age or helping others may have been modeled to you growing up.

Reasons why you put others needs before your own:

• Empathy - You help because you genuinely care to, however, when you start to abandon or hurt yourself to help someone else, that is when it becomes a problem

• Worth and value - You may feel a sense of purpose being helpful

• Responsible for others - You feel like you need to fix how other people feel or you may be afraid of ‘making’ others feel a certain way.

• Approval - You learned being helpful came with the rewards of praise, affection, and being seen as good or mature. Now as an adult, you put yourself last.

• Avoid conflict - You may put others needs first or go along with what they say in order to keep the peace and avoid conflict. This might cause you to not say what you really want to and then build resentment towards them for it.

• Fear - You may fear rejection, being left, not being good enough

• Unclear needs - You might struggle to identify your needs