Why do I feel guilty when I take care of myself?
Why do I feel guilty when I take care of myself?
Guilt is a very common feeling when it is uncomfortable for you to take care of yourself. Something inside of you is saying ‘ hey, you don’t deserve to go do that’ or ‘ you’re a bad parent if you leave the house for more than 3 hours’. Those aren’t true, but your mind is making you want to believe that.
You may have learned in childhood that taking time for yourself is selfish or wrong. You may have learned to care for others instead of yourself. Guilt and shame often get intertwined. Shame means that you are bad while guilt means you’ve done something bad. You could feel guilt for many reasons and it depends on the context of your life.
Reasons you may feel guilty taking care of yourself:
Younger you learned it isn’t a priority
You learned to care for others
You don’t feel you deserve it
You don’t feel worthy of it
You feel you then owe someone something then
You feel you should be home or with the kids or working instead
You feel bad that others can’t join you and it feels wrong going
You’re afraid it will be used against you in some way
You feel bad spending money
As you can see, context matters. Being able to reflect on what this brings up internally for you can help you figure out the root cause of where the feelings of guilt are coming from. You may also find other emotions come up when you feel guilt. Therapy can be a helpful space to increase self worth and break apart situations where guilt may be showing up in your life.
